Sex in the  Middle East continued...

Can women keep their moral bearings in today’s fast world?

“Sometimes, I find it funny that my younger brother (age 21) is sent to accompany me on a date,” Simaan laughs. “Mom and dad know that he gets into more trouble than me. But, there he is watching over me.”

Intimacy seems to have lost a lot of its exclusiveness and the essence of romance. Many shy away from the subject. The relationship between love and sex is difficult todefine since the two are inextricably intertwined, and yet for many people the connection is difficult subject matter.

The idea of the division between sex and love is as old as the Middle Eastern civilizations themselves.

We have the tradition.

The idea of the division between sex and love is as old as the Middle Eastern civilizations themselves. We have the tradition of Alhub Aluzr, the virginal love. Many have said that the idea of courtly or romantic love could be historically attributed to Arabian tribes. Accordingly, love was based on a poetic conception illustrating that for both Eastern and Western cultures, and throughout civilizations, there has always been a strong tendency to separate the two concepts of sex and love. Love was elevated to a high pedestal, almost on a par with the divine.

On the contrary, it was written "Premarital love...is unlawful" because the lovers could not be left together without the danger of sinning, thus stressing the need for lovers to unite in marriage as quickly as possible.

This explains why in many Middle Eastern cultures, Egypt, Israel and Saudi Arabia included, the idea of pre-marital love is traditionally frowned upon.
There is a dichotomy of thought on the issue of sex and love. The long tradition of love poetry attests to the fact that Middle Eastern culture inherently celebrates love and its natural consummation – sex. Yet, society continues the restriction of sexual and love relationships.

“Some people - and especially Hadi’s friends – tell us to ‘loosen up,’” says Mohammed, her father. “There’s nothing wrong with sex and intimacy. Our culture has a long history of its celebration. However, when you look closely, most of those stories involve couples who are married and not just passing in the night.”
While many youth long for the day of greater freedoms, most of their parents agree that the restrictions lead to less peripheral problems and more responsibility for the mind, body and soul.

“I’d have to say, we are friendly with 20-25 couples with children from all over the spectrum of race, color and creed,” Mohammed analyzes. “In our discussions, you discover that most of the problems arise from parents lending too much trust and not enforcing enough restrictions. There’s nothing wrong with protecting your children at any age.”

Through all of the pressures, Simaan sums it up this way, “Some of my friends just lie to their parents rather than conform to their beliefs. Although I think I should get more trust from my parents, I don’t mind the constant reminders to protect my virtue. After all, it is the only thing I truly own.”

Are you dating Mr. Right or Mr. Wrong?

How do you know if this is the right guy for you? Here are some basics to keep in mind before you fall for those blue eyes and his magnetic charm. For those special qualities that make your desires unique, write a list of the top five qualities you're looking for. Then, give your list to a friend and talk about that special guy in your life. If you veer off track because he has a nice smile, she'll let you know.

Directions: Answer the following 12 questions by filling in the answer most consistent with your point of view.

Possible answers:
9 - 7 = definitely true
6 - 4 = moderately true
3 - 1 = not at all true

ANSWER EACH FROM A SCALE OF 1 - 9

1. He has admirable integrity.
2. You respect him as a person and as a man .
3. He respects you as a person and as a woman.
4. He treats you with respect. 
5. He makes you feel beautiful and special.
6. He respects your culture and beliefs. 
7. He's proud to introduce you to his family and friends. 
8. He's respectful of your sexuality and any (and all) restrictions placed on intimacy. 
9. He interacts with your family and friends. 
10. He is responsible with commitments and keeps promises.
11. He does things to help you solve problems and is mindful of ways to simplify uneasy situations.
12. Most important: Your intuition, your gut, your Inner Wise Woman says, "Yes, this is the one." 

 Scoring

 If you score 89+, Bingo! Start planning the wedding.

 Check your answers with someone you trust.

 67-88. A keeper and someone you'll be proud to call your husband.

 45-66. Do you really know him? Is he sincere? Maybe he is Mr. Almost Right.

 23-44. What's so attractive about trouble and heartache?

 9 – 22. Run the other way.

 

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